The New Season Candy of choice

Marketing didn't figure this out yet. Here's my pitch.

Sure, it's not a broad spectrum product, you don't expect nice old ladies to dish these out on Halloween, and you don't expect little kids to appreciate them either (nor should you want them to...). It's meant for the geek masses.

Without further ado...

     * Tiberium Flavoured Kandy Kanes! *

Think about it. Straight sugary rods, green with bright red stripes spiraling down the length of the shaft with Joe Kucan's likeness sculpted at the top and the age-old scorpion tail NOD icon embossed at regular intervals. And since nobody has tasted actual Tiberium (and lived to tell... for long), they can just make up any palatable flavour and say that's what the Green crystal tastes like.

But wait! There's more! For those who want only the very best, Blue Tiberium Flavoured Kandy Kanes! Just make them blue instead of green, add some mint flavour and nasal decongestant to the mix and jack up the price about 25%. Deluxe edition candy!

Add some gimmick like one free replica of the NOD ring Joe Kucan did not steal put in every fifth pack of the regular Kandy Kanes or every fourth pack of the Deluxe Kandy Kanes and you've got a sugary hit.

And that's not all. Have a sugar free version of each type handy for the geeks who reject the stereotype of the ever snacking couch potato types and you've just broadened your market share. Bimbos who might want to look smart will resort to these as well. Geeks who actually might want to lose weight will swiftly substitute their snack of choice with these in a heartbeat. Supermodels will want to look FAB, licking these high-tech candy sticks in every fashion mag... OK, perhaps the supermodels won't be so attracted to these... but who needs them, anyway? Geeks are Legion! Legion, I tell you! Legion!

Pax vobiscum atque vale.

ArabianShark wonders how come the folks in engineering figured this out before the marketing types. Or is it that we don't really need cool candy? I'd still buy it.