eBay

eBay (and Amazon) can't go for a week without trying to flog their stuff on their registred users. Hardly surprising. It's what they live on. One could make the point that the way they (especially Amazon) figure out what their customers might like is a bit less accurate than you'd think. So one day I looked for mezzalunas on Amazon and, sure enought, the next newsletter (if you can call it that) tried to sell me just about everything they had that could be in some way related to - wait for it - Nigella Lawson. Figures. So once I let them know I own an Xbox 360, and now a game can't come out without them telling me, never you mind that it is perfectly in league with some games which I've rated as "loathsome" on their site (not in so many words). So once I rated some films, and now they keep advertising to me their extensive collection of DVDs... and BluRays... which I can't do anything with. Perhaps they should have noticed I never ordered, looked at or put a BluRay on my Wish List. Lastly, I'd just like to make it perfectly clear I have no idea how they figured out that I might like a book on wearing latex. That's really not what floats my boat (but, it floats yours, drop me a line, I have some Amazon endorsed suggestions for you).

And now on to eBay. Their advertising e-mails are a bit different. They flog you some items pertaining to your last purchase and then go on about not what they think you might like to buy but what they would like you to buy. Can't say that I blame them, but it doesn't really but much ice with me. At least Amazon look like they're trying to please me.

Which brings me to the cherry on top of the eBay cake. The last I heard from them, they were trying to flog their stock of Halloween related stuff. And, to make the whole e-mail more in line with the season, they thought they'd kick it off with a slight fright. And so, the first few words of their message read thus:

     "arabianshark, boo! Get your ghoul on at eBay (...)"

Now look here, eBay: Firstly, you'll see I never really forget to capitalise the B in your name; maybe, just maybe, as a courtesy, you wouldn't mind, just once or twice, to properçy capitalise my name as well. There's a reason why I made it ArabianShark (which does not concern you any more than it concerns me why on Earth you chose eBay over Ebay, ebaY or bUyfRomuSpLeasepLeasepRettypLease).
Secondly, "boo" isn't a scary word. It really isn't. What it does is, when heard unexpectedly, startle you. If you call out to me first, than "boo" is about to scare me as much as "soft supple breasts".

Pax vobiscum atque vale.

ArabianShark begins to wonder how wise it really was to join eBay... I don't think I've ever made a purchase there that would turn out to have been a good choice (except perhaps the very first one and the one I made on behalf of a friend).