American Soil

Two very bad topics to discuss on a first date are politics and religion, and you can take it to the bank (although finance is hardly substacne for a romantic conversation). But this isn't our first date, is it, dear readers?

Movies: now that might be a rather better topic for a fist dte chat. From circa 1944 up until the mid, maybe late 90's, whenever a beligerant threat was needed, you could depend on nuclear ordinance as a plot device. It worked for Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, The Hunt for Red October, Dr. No and, more recently, The Sum of All Fears (where it was proved that Ben Afleck's suck may outweight Morgan Freeman's awesome - sorry, Mr. Freeman, you're still awesome anyway) and The World is Not Enough - and Bond doesn't usually dabble in something as unimaginative as nuclear weapons. Lately, however, it seems there's a bit of a shift in the current of thought towards either biological weapons (vide The Tuxedo and so many others) or terrorism, especially with heavy civillian casualties (vide Collateral, Fight Club, Iron Man, for example) or both (vide 24 and loads more).

Now me, being bit stuck in the past (I tell you, this Internet thing seems like news to me every single day), would like to focus a bit back on the nuclear weapons. Have you ever noticed there is a very small nuber of countries where a nuclear warhead was ever detonated intentionally by another and an even smaller number (x is defined as even smaller then y if x %le y) number of countries who have actively used nuclear weapons on other countries. It should come as no surprise that, among all the countires that currrently count nuclear warheads in their armouries, one of them has more than any other. I wonder if it's a surprise that said country has never been the victim of a nuclear attack or, even had nuclear weapons detonated on its soil (Hawaii hardly counts as American Soil. I mean, they even had specially pritned currency after WWII that would have no monetary value in case Japan tried to reminesce about Pearl Harbour and take Hawaii). Enter the SADM.

By now you may be asking, Shark, you cynical bastard, you, what on Earth is a SADM? Well, this is a SADM. For thise of you whose stubby little fingers are much too good to waste on a click to an external link wich could save me the trouble of typing this long drawn rant that far outweights the actual definition of a SADM, but oh, no, you had to save your precious fingers for your APM or your CS:S or COD or wahtever FPS and TLA you can think of, it's a small, portable nuke, conceived by your friendly neighbourhood Americans in the 1960's to use against the Soviets, should they try to invade Europe. Yes, there's a thought, let's blow the hell out of somewhere we have no business in and irradiate and contaminate their water and their soil under the pretence that we'd be doing them a favour, stopping those gosh darn Soviets. We might even get some thank yous out of it. And before you go on thinking how those crazy European chicks might have "sophisticated European" ways of saying thank you, isn't this on par with American foreign policy? So kind of them...

I'd like to propose a worlwide boycott on good ol' Red, White and Blue (which, by the way, they stole from the Brits. Their flag's colour scheme is taken from the Union Jack. I wonder what it means, thatone of their patriotic icons is actually, first and foremost, the patriotic icon of another country, on from which they claimed emancipation after a war, some would say, instigated by a lie), but I know that's not going to take. We're all a bit too hung up on Ameritrash (kind of Eurotrash, only it refers to products. And not people. And it's from America. And it's not witty in any way, but never mind). Of course, most of Ameritrash isn't even made in America (except for McDOnalds and 5.11 boots. I might be wrong on both counts. You have been warned), so, if a worldwide boycott would mean that Ameritrash still gets made and shipped worldwide, only not passing GO, not collecting $200 and, thus, a bit more affordable... You know, I think this could work. How about we give it a whirl, a trial period. Six months? We can do without pron (oh, right, porn is usually made either in Oakland, San Francisco or San Fernando Valley, so that's also Ameritrash made in America) for six months, right? If not, talk to the Germans and the Austrians, they'll hook you up. Just don't leave them in the same room unattended.

Pax vobiscum atque vale.

ArabianShark realises his usual parting sentence sounds a bit ironic in this post, but really, how many wars have the Yanks not been in recently? And how many of the ones they've been on were in their soil? Do you think that explains their war-mongering?