Spamincidences

"Spamincidence" is, to the best of my knowledge, not a word, but when you combine "spam" (notice the small s, just so you know I'm not talking about pork products) with "coincidence", "spamincidence" pops to mind. Right?

Now I, just like most people I know on "The Internets", recieve some amount of spam in my e-mail, along with the odd - and quite clumsy, may I add - attempt of phishing. Some of this spam comes from the future, oddly enough. Indeed, I do recieve e-mails from people whom I've never heard of with Arabic sounding names (that's what you get for having an alias such as ArabianShark) with the subject composed of some Egyptian city and a date, usually a week after the date of delivery. Most of the spam i get, however, is of pharmaceutical nature.

Every single day I get some five or so e-mails advertising cheap online stores for Viagra, Scialis and other products I've never heard of, which I can only assume serve similar purposes. It's mildly amusing how the advertisers attempt to get past the spam filter (which is the default filter, I haven't deigned to mess with it) with invariant degrees of failure, spelling Viagra like "\/|agra" and Scilais like "$cia|is" and such. Makes me wonder what happened to good old "1337" spelling, like Vi46r4 or 5ci41i5. I don't think it would have fooled the spam filter, but at least it would have been a smidgeon more amusing.

Just as frequent are e-mails advertising all herbal or not so herbal remedies to lengthen the male genitalia. Since these don't have fancy well known names, the subject line on these is often quite straight forward, and just as uselessly alternatively spelled. Some of these treatments even allegedly combine both effects, increasing penile size and compensating for erectile disfunction. These don't mention recognised names or use words the filters are set to look for (such as "dick". This might mean that if you ever decide to send me an offensive e-mail with "You're a dick!" on the subject line, the spam filter will get it first... unless you don't spell dick like "D|CK"), so they might have propper spelling on catch phrases which they use for subject, such as "Want to be a hero in bed?". Well, aren't they spoiling business for other advertisers? What if someone wants to sell me Superman pajamas? Their efforst will be foiled by overzealous spam filters. That's just not right!

So is this the impression advertisers have of me? Just some bloke with a small limp dick? Look, people, I'm perfectly happy with the hand I've been dealt. It might not be a Royal Flush, but it beats a pair of Jacks (I mean Queens... er... Kings... er... oh, there's just no talking out of that one, is there? Well, it is a Straight, at any rate, rest assured) any day.

Pax vobiscum atque vale.

ArabianShark would, however, like to recieve an apology from the aforementioned advertisers followed by an immediate cessation of their futile efforts, but that might just as well be caught by the spam filter.
The things we do to procrastinate...

1 comment:

obnibolongo said...

Just for the fun, check your Spam mailbox at your university's webmail...
Plenty of fun assured :D