Ladies' Knight

And other misconceptions.

No point to today's entry, just some teasers, the likes of "why is it that stuff sent by car is a shipment, but sent by boat is cargo".

So... Ever notice how, on any given disco, on a "Ladies' Night", men pay for the so-called "free drinks" for the ladies, but hardly any ladies attend? Naturally, any self respecting lady would realise a Ladie's Night is festering with opportunity for lonely men to try and meet her, and, knowing lonely men (or, even worse, liquored up men), meet might mean harass, even if they don't mean it. Thus, Ladie's Night becomes Overpriced Sausage Fest (just like some department I know...). Now for the depressing bit: clubs still throw these, which means they are profitable, which means at least one of two tings: a) At least enough ladies to ensure Ladies' Night doesn't become a total Sausage Fest don't mind the bad pickup lines, the overly insistent invitations to dance/make out/go back to my place (well, obviously not mine, but you understand what I mean) and the occasional grope; b) Not enough men have wised up to the meaning of a Ladies' Night. And that's plain disturbing. I should talk, just yesterday I was caught smack dab in the middle of one. I'll say this in my defence: I had no idea there was a Ladies' Night going on at that place until minutes before my party and I (so there were two of us. A mob, no doubt) set off to the place and I wasn't going for anything else than some fun times with a mate. It was kind of a bust, as we were promised a female DJ who didn't show up in the time we were there (and it wasn't like we left early, either) and the two punk-arse kids who style themselves as DJ put on a grand total of three decent tunes the whole time we were there (but don't go trusting my taste), and the only request I made was met with "not tonight". What afraid to drive off the ladies? News flash, lad, they've been driven off already.

(Thin) People tell people who want to lose weight and who, for some reason or another don't have time to exercice "you're telling me that you can't take ten minutes every day?" all the time. OK, sure, I believe everyone can take 10 minutes out of their very busy scedulle every day. Here's what else I believe: ten minutes every day are worth absolutely squat. I have my own training regimen, and the warm up alone is twelve minutes. Last time I checked, twelve was greater than ten, but don't go trusting my math either; after all, I'm only an engineering student. I'm supposed to be rotten at math. Go ask the management types. Now I remember when I was wasting my time with a personal trainer, our routine was 45 minutes, three times a week. So 3 x 45 = 135 (approx.), whereas ten minues every day is 10 x 7 = 70 (give or take). Now one might be tempted to rush into the conclusion that 135 > 70. I maintain that I wasted my time on that plan now you do the math. Besides, any ten minutes that most busy people I know could possbly take would be at the end of a very exhausting day, when exercising would be innefficient and only contribute to tire them out even more and make them sore the day after. So, just in case you're an advocate for good health and regular exercise, the next time you want to argue with me that I can take ten minutes every day to exercise, remember that I take two hours at least three times a week to work out, I diet and I'm still struggling to slim down a bit. That and I reserve the right to shatter one of your bones for every sit up I do on the spot. I might come to over half your skelleton. Be ready.

Advocates of good health (I'm picking on them today. Everyone gets a turn) and no smoking will tell you that if you smoke a pack a day you'll spend so much in so long, and you could do so and so with that money. I say balderdash. Assuming you're a smoker, if you didn't smoke you'd have more mony to spend, and you would spend more mony, plain and simple. If you stopped smoking now, you wouldn't be able to take a dream trip by Christmas on account of it, you'd plainly spend whatever you'd save on smokes over time. If you could save the money you'd otherwise spend on tobacco, you should be able to save just as much without quitting. That said, I do think smokers would be well advised to quit for the sake of their healths. However, if any smoker is unwilling to quit for whatever reason, I won't bother you for it, just keep your cancerigen tar-filled foul-smelling billows well away from me and be merry.

So here's the smoking saving plan, from me to you. Get a box. Any box. An old shoe box, a sandbox, a lunch box, a very large matchbox, an X-box or even a computer case, which can refered to as a box. A woman's vagina might also be refered to, in slang, as a box, but I'm afraid that sort of box is unfit for our purposes. Now that we have our box, we're going to smoke a pack a day (or an extra pack a day, if you already smoke). Now, smoking is, sorry to say it, a foul habit, and I could never in clean counscience advise you to hack at your health like that, so instead of actually buying and consumming tobacco products, figure out how much a pack of any given brand of cigarretes costs. Then, every day, slip that much into the box through a slit you would have made into the box (thus making a cardboard box a good choice, a plastic lunch box a fair choice, a computer case a rahter poor choice, an X-box a terrible choice, for this matter, and the other sort of box a disgraceful choice). Here's the important bit: DON'T OPEN THE BOX UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!! (or Summer, if you start after July) When you do open the box, asuming you've kept it properly, well, there should be money in it, no surprise there. Treat yourself to something nice. And you didn't even haev to stop smoking for it.

Pax vobiscum atque vale.

ArabianSHark would like to sing some praise to "The Dark Knight", but whatever pressure from the studio or the distributor or whatever to make it a PG film really stopped it from attaining its full potential. Still pretty good, though. I recommend it.

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