Well done!

And I thought I had it bad...

Looks like I've started at the middle. Might be a side effect of the tear in the space time continuum which is prone to engulf us all and send us hurtling into chrono-spatial chaos. Don't be alarmed.

So I'm fairly sure most of my readers are even slightly aware of the Postal Service I have in this wretched country I'm strugling to flee. It's the sort of Postal Service who won't grant you the right to not recieve undesired publicity to the point your mailbox bursts (meaning you have to acquire said right elsewhere). It's the sort of Postal Service who'll pretend to have tried to deliver your package to your doorstep at 11:35 AM on a Friday, then announce your failed delivery might be reatempted at your discretion or you might want to pick up said package at (one of) your local Post Office(s, assuming you can find out which one) from 5:00 PM onwards, even though you might be sweating it until 7:00 PM, when (all of) your local Post Office(s) will have closed for the day. It's the sort of Postal Service who'll make you walk (or drive) for nearly 10 bloody miles to find what they'll assign as (one of) your local Post Office(s), despite the very handy one just around the corner. It's the... well, you get the point. I thought I had it bad.

So today I got this e-mail from a sender I didn't recognise, and frankly, by the looks of it, at first glance I thought this was another invitation to "World Blowjob Day" that had managed to circumvent the spam filter, but, upon a closer look, turned out to be the United States (presumably of America) Postal Service. Seeing as I am not an American, have never lived in America, haven't been to that side of the Atlantic in oh say some five years or so and haven't been to the US this century, it caught me by surprise. Turns out someone by the name of Fay Korgasm (not really, but I saw this somewhere and thought it was somewhat amusing... no? Never mind...) or something just as helpful has sent a package for me, so the USPS needs to confirm the "Shipping to" address. Right off the bat they tell me that, should the address be incorrect, I should contact the shipper. Furthermore, the package is schedulled to be sent today. I'm guessing there's a safe chance the package has, indeed been sent. Indulge me in the math of it. I got the e-mail at about 9:20 PM, local time. With the time difference, I imagine it would have been sent at about 4:20 PM EST or 1:20 PM PST or somewhere in between, I suppose. Now doesn't this make you feel as though the package might have already been sent? I, for one, thought packages were expedited in the morning of the day they're schedulled for shipping, yet they contact me in the early to mid afternoon. Furthermore, there is nothing even slightly similar to a shipper's contact, just the name. Who the hell is Fay Korgasm? I've never seen a Fay Korgasm in my life. How do I get ahold of a Fay Korgasm to tell him/her/it that they left out some of my address?

Well done, US Postal Service. Is this what it means to "go Postal", then? That was a fun game...

Pax vobiscum atque vale.

ArabianShark is hoping - hoping! - to still be able to recieve this item. Yet I shudder to think of the tarrifs alone...